[syndicate] My Promise to You

[Alan Sondheim]

My Promise to You

1. Rearrangement

No
Sex

The do promise sex of again. no I sex. will I not will have not nudity do
The sex promise again. of have will nudity not again mention in body my
parts texts. again. mention perfect body again parts in be will perfect
not newborn characterize characterize I men will or be women newborn
sexual will violence not activity will work. again masturbation again work
in and my intercourse swamped am will swamped not with have attention
intercourse given sex, to nudity, the body sex, parts, nudity, sexual
parts, sexual violence, given activity, the masturbation, work. exhausted
masturbation, by and televised motion motion sex, picture photographed
photographed dreamed dreamed by spoken may poetics with may and dance sex,
dance-video not images dance-video violence. I never have done will
frightened am encounters strangers. strangers. am meetings unaccustomed
unaccustomed with space. write write lonely lonely space. place, I
forsaken will places, not ruined Ruins places. do Ruins not tired am being
of misunderstood. playing playing tired misunderstood am boohoo tired
little of boy. being boy boy. who of does being good. misogynist
misogynist no burns I at tired stake, stake, erects stake, children tired
stake. organs dumb children organs at description stake. organs. write
politics and without politics words without actions will that learn learn
never forgiven. will go I on. will film sight sound to sight to dance.

2. My Promise

No Sex

The promise of no sex. I will not do sex again. I will not have nudity
again in my texts. I will not mention body parts again. I will be perfect
again. I will be newborn again. I will not characterize men or women
again. I will not have sexual violence again in my texts. I will not have
sexual activity again in my work. I will not have masturbation again in my
work and will not have intercourse in my work. I am swamped with attention
given to the sex, nudity, body parts, sexual violence, sexual activity,
masturbation, and intercourse in my work. I am exhausted by sex. I am
exhausted by televised sex, motion picture sex, photographed sex, dreamed
sex, spoken sex, poetics of sex. I may work with dance and sex and
dance-video and sex. I will not work with images of sexual violence. I
will not do sexual violence. I have never done sexual violence. I have
never done violence. I am frightened of violence. I am frightened by
encounters with strangers. I am frightened of meetings in unaccustomed
space. I will not write of violence in lonely place, forsaken places,
ruined places. Ruins write my texts. Ruins do not write sex, do not write
sexual violence. I am tired of being misunderstood. I am tired of playing
the misunderstood boohoo little boy. I am tired of being the little boy
who does no good. I am tired of being the misogynist who burns women at
the stake, who burns men at the stake, who erects the stake, who burns
children at the stake. I am tired of dumb organs and description of dumb
organs. I will write politics without sex and politics without sexual
violence and politics without sexual words and politics without words or
actions that may be misunderstood. I will learn to be good. I will never
be forgiven. I will learn to go on. I will learn to write again. I will
learn to film again. I will learn sound and sight again. I will learn to
dance.