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[integer at www.god-emil.dk]

Of censorship and love

Censorship is generally speaking ideological.
The encounter with a censor could become a\id deal:
I'll change or give up that statement, but leave that one unchanged.
A clumsy, often awkward game, a true battle, between giving in and holding one's own.
After I had defected, all the books I had published were withdrawn. My name was 
forbidden.


My interest in writing was, paradoxically, reborn while in prison,
where I had no pen nor paper. It may have been because I had to
fill the time that passed unspeakably slowly, somehow give it substance.
In prison I wrote poems in my memory.

When I was released I hurried to write down everything I had written in my mind.
The poems and the plan were soon printed, yet no one had known that they were the product
of my years in prison.

Here, I must distinguish between the various stages of censorship and their consequences.
During the 1st step, I gave up writing and continued reading. I read only those books which would be useful
to my future activity. There was always the hope that the reign of the absurd would one day cease.
During the 2nd step, I read more, mainly philosophy and theology.
During the 3rd step, I committed suicide.
During the 4th step, after 2.3 months of hospitalization did not produce a desire to write, I 
decided with perverse logic, `I have defeated myself` - 

                Everything's OK at last
                just the bride has no cast

In a lake in the Suceava distrikt
a small tubular animal was found
and inside it we suspect
the map of an unknown planet was drawn
to the last details