[anna balint]

22/02/2003 09:38:03, integer at www.god-emil.dk wrote:


>
>>>t!k t!k ... t!!!!!!!!!!ng. uen 1 !z unfa!thfl 1 !z unfa!thfl through lv

>uze ur ne!ghborz genez

choking lessons from a wolf called neighbour.
raged inwardly in a labirynthe inferno
washing the thick white fluid from my face.

>!mag!n a bolt be!ng draun bak 4rom a door. 
>u do not nezezar!l! trvl through abr u kould !f u u!shd.
>2 trvl through = dze h!perdez!r + dze push muzt b z!nkron!zd
>
>!t = 01 zenzaz!on ov pure fear
>d!sz = poz!t!v 4 fear = 1x zpeed!ng plzr
>
>plzr = touchez  taztez  shadouz  zoftnesz
>fear = toucheztaztezshadouzzoftnesz
>
>dze zenzual !mpakt okurz v!a ekzternl zt!muluz + de.al!anatez zlkt boundar!ez
>
>
>
>
>
>>>http://www.god-emil.dk/m9ndfukc/data/picz/18.2.3/206.jpg
>>>http://www.god-emil.dk/m9ndfukc/data/picz/18.2.3/207.jpg
>>
>>interesting.
>
>de.prez!ng 01 akzlrtr pedal v.rap!dl! + ful! = at t!mez ztalz dze eng!n

i am interested so far more 
in the problems you raise,
and not so much in you as a person
but dont't cheat, please, it's not fair!
and if you don't let me to see you,
at least say who your mother and father is.
>
>>http://www.jaconline.org/s1/pets/tippy/images/she_loves_her_cat_tree.jpg
>
>
>juzt az u!th plzr
>
>`a favorite game i used to play with my much younger brother when he was
>was a few years old was to bounce him on my lap and at an unexpected
>moment, without warning, scissor open my knees so that, supported of course,
>he ended dangling head down in empty space. he loved it`
>
>[d!d she ...


great brother!

>>>nn - koton blend
>>Durex! 
>
>
>i had entered the prison in winter

Bruno Bettelheim blamed a lot the victims,
i would never do that. The feelings and decisions 
of the victims are willfully engineered and manipulated
to a great degree.
One of the worst traps where victims can fall is
to feel special because of torture, detention or deprivation,
feel superior or specially elected for the punishment.
It is the worst option to accept the regression and 
torture real not just as objective, 
but interiorise it in the subjective as well.
The Process of Kaffka is horrible just because of the fact of the
process, but because none obliges K. to undertake the process,
he was volonteering to go trough. The process was initially 
written as a parody - and I read it as such.


>how much youth had been buried in vain within these walls; how much power and 
>strength had perished here for NOTHING! for the whole truth must be told: all these 
men were
>quite remarkable. these were perhaps the most gifted, the strongest of our people.
>but mighty powers had perished in VAIN, perished ABNORMALLY, UNLAWFULLY, 
>IRREVOCABLY. yet who is to blame?
>
>that was the question: who was to blame?

many people say that when something is done and cannot be changed,
everbody should restart from a clean table.
i strongly disagree. people not facing their crime charge
the next generations with their crimes. Medea, warlords,
soldiers, corrupt goverenements eat up the
chances of the new coming. Croats and Serbs related to the 
ethnopsychologues in Berlin that when the Balkan war started in the
90's they all dreamed without exception about WW2 in the Balkans. 
They started the next day from the same bus station from Berlin,
grouping to different buses going to the opposite side of the front.
I had a Muslim guest coming from the Sarajevo frontline,
a poet who could not avoid army.
He said that he participated in a 16th century war, the
ideals, slogans, goals, and targets all belonged to a premodern 
and anachronic conflict. They were heavily drugged, and thus 
accepting the terms of the armed fight...

I blame everybody at the level of individual 
responsability. All the small collaborators who 
accept step by step the instauration of an 
autoritarian system.
Later, after social changes, or peace,
some would never ackowledge any mistake.
In my personal practice it also irritates me if someone wants
my parasolvency. It's not enough that i wasted time and energy
for their stupidity and compliance with a system, 
after some years they still want something from me!
I have a writer friend -a very good connaiseur of repression -,
when our former rackors pursue us for forgiveness, we go 
out for a coffee.
Generally i like the kind of sentences that Gandhi gave
for those who felt guilty after the Pakistan war,
for instance he made a Hindi warrior who knocked Muslim
babies against the wall so that they died, to raise
Muslim orphans in their own religion.




   

>
>[children]
>
>
>the fetters fell to the ground. i picked them up.
>i wanted to hold them in my hand, to have a last look at them.
>
>`well, god go with you!` said the convicts in voices that were curt, gruff, 
>but somehow also pleased.
>
>yes, god go with you! freedom, a new life, resurrection from the dead ...
>what a glorious moment ...
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>>>>!n dze beg dzere uaz dze uord.
>>>>
>>>>+ dzn ... ! kame
>>>
>>>http://www.god-emil.dk/m9ndfukc/data/picz/20.2.3/
>>
>>you are not my case so far.
>
>
>dze pret! blood = 1x roze
>a fan 4 gentl reflekzez
>un numbrd paz!onz 
>zea ov algae + leavez s!gh
>deepl!
>l!ght komz u!th zcentz ov n!ghtz
>da!z krosz handz
>2morouz
>
>blozomz
>
>a momnt ago
>juzt 
>ue uere zt!l
>each ov uz
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>dzere r ualz
>dze! do not move 2morou
>grasez 4rom heaven
>mold!ng !n a zu!tchd off chandel!er
>zta!nd u!th blkber!ez
>+ f!ngrpr!ntz
>
>dze z!nglr zrc ov bubl!ng l!ght
>!z dze heart u!ch !nvoluntar!l!
>takez fotoz ov tearz _+ zleep
>l!ke tzo man! heartz
>d!g!ng shadouz
>uzelesz zekretz
>b4 dze apet!te ov b!rdz u!ch zkr!m 4 lf
>
>temporar!l! kondemnd
>dze bod! returnz 2 !tz zelf
>2 kovr 2m ov n!ght 
>l!ke a dead ue!ght
>plung!ng !n2 !tz vo!sz
>u!ch !z m!ne 
>alone

you ask so many things at once, that i am completely broken.