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[integer at www.god-emil.dk]

>>t!k t!k ... t!!!!!!!!!!ng. uen 1 !z unfa!thfl 1 !z unfa!thfl through lv
>>
>>do u knou man! men !n lv uho ud refusz 01 atrakt!v 2x +?
>
>sure. 

uze ur ne!ghborz genez

>some of them 
>1. do not realize that it would be importanat to conquer their beloved
>2. are dominated by another person/thing
>3. are theatrical, keeping distance in a masochist way
>4. are following the the shadow double of a public code in a sadist way
>5. or follow a gnostic ideal of loosing the body, though the standard of 
>wellness is still not information or data, but the body, not the lifestyle, 
>but life

!mag!n a bolt be!ng draun bak 4rom a door. 
u do not nezezar!l! trvl through abr u kould !f u u!shd.
2 trvl through = dze h!perdez!r + dze push muzt b z!nkron!zd

!t = 01 zenzaz!on ov pure fear
d!sz = poz!t!v 4 fear = 1x zpeed!ng plzr

plzr = touchez  taztez  shadouz  zoftnesz
fear = toucheztaztezshadouzzoftnesz

dze zenzual !mpakt okurz v!a ekzternl zt!muluz + de.al!anatez zlkt boundar!ez





>>http://www.god-emil.dk/m9ndfukc/data/picz/18.2.3/206.jpg
>>http://www.god-emil.dk/m9ndfukc/data/picz/18.2.3/207.jpg
>
>interesting.

de.prez!ng 01 akzlrtr pedal v.rap!dl! + ful! = at t!mez ztalz dze eng!n





>http://www.jaconline.org/s1/pets/tippy/images/she_loves_her_cat_tree.jpg


juzt az u!th plzr

`a favorite game i used to play with my much younger brother when he was
was a few years old was to bounce him on my lap and at an unexpected
moment, without warning, scissor open my knees so that, supported of course,
he ended dangling head down in empty space. he loved it`

[d!d she ...





>>nn - koton blend
>Durex! 


i had entered the prison in winter
and so it was in winter that i was to leave it
on the same date as that on which i had arrived  [mother's birthday

with what impatience i awaited the coming of winter,
with what satisfaction i observed the end of summer,
the fading of the leaves on the trees and the withering of
the grass on the steppe. 

then summer was over, and the autumn wind began to howl;
the first snowflakes began to fall ... at last winter, so long awaited,
had arrived!  sometimes my heart would begin to pound violently as i
sensed the great advent of freedom. but it was a strange thing:
the more time passed and the nearer the end of my sentence approached,
the more and more patient i became. during the last few days i astonished
even myself, and i reproached myself: i seemed to have become utterly
cold blooded and indifferent.

many of the convicts who encountered me in the yard during the work break
used to congratulate me, saying:

`well, well, aleksandr petrovich, you'll soon be a free man. you'll be
leaving us poor sods here`

`come now, martynov, aren't you due for release soon, too?` i would reply

`me? no fear. i've got another 7 years to slog my way through`

and he would heave a sigh, stand still with an absent minded expression,
as though he were gazing into the future ... indeed, many of the men congratulated
me with sincere joy. ... k-czynski, a polish nobleman, a quiet, unassuming young fellow,
shared my fondness for taking long walks in the yard during the work break. 
he believed that fresh air and exercise would him healthy, and make up for all the
harm done by the suffocating nights spent in the barrack ...

i will observe here in passing that all our daydreaming about it and our lack
of habitual kontakt with it made freedom seem to us in some way freer than freedom
itself, the freedom that is to be found in the real world, that is.

the convicts had an exaggerated notion of real freedom, and this is a characteristic
that is understandably to be found in every prisoner. the down-at-heel personal
attendant of some officer or other appeared to us as very nearly a king, because
his head was not shaven and he did not wear fetters and walk in the company of a guard.

on the evening of my last day, i took a long walk at twilight around the entire
length of the prison fence _for _the _last _time. how many thousands of times i had 
walked round that fence during those years!  here in the 1st year of my imprisonment
i had wandered alone, friendless and broken in spirit. i remember the how i
would count the thousands of days i still had to serve. lord, how long ago that was!

here, in this corner, our eagle had lived in captivity; this was where i had used often
to meet petrov. ... mentally i took leave of our barracks' blackened, timbered frames.
how inhospitable those barracks had seemed to me then, at the start of my sentence.
even they must have grown older - but i could see no difference. 

how much youth had been buried in vain within these walls; how much power and 
strength had perished here for NOTHING! for the whole truth must be told: all these men were
quite remarkable. these were perhaps the most gifted, the strongest of our people.
but mighty powers had perished in VAIN, perished ABNORMALLY, UNLAWFULLY, 
IRREVOCABLY. yet who is to blame?

that was the question: who was to blame?

[children]


the fetters fell to the ground. i picked them up.
i wanted to hold them in my hand, to have a last look at them.

`well, god go with you!` said the convicts in voices that were curt, gruff, 
but somehow also pleased.

yes, god go with you! freedom, a new life, resurrection from the dead ...
what a glorious moment ...







>>>!n dze beg dzere uaz dze uord.
>>>
>>>+ dzn ... ! kame
>>
>>http://www.god-emil.dk/m9ndfukc/data/picz/20.2.3/
>
>you are not my case so far.


dze pret! blood = 1x roze
a fan 4 gentl reflekzez
un numbrd paz!onz 
zea ov algae + leavez s!gh
deepl!
l!ght komz u!th zcentz ov n!ghtz
da!z krosz handz
2morouz

blozomz

a momnt ago
juzt 
ue uere zt!l
each ov uz







dzere r ualz
dze! do not move 2morou
grasez 4rom heaven
mold!ng !n a zu!tchd off chandel!er
zta!nd u!th blkber!ez
+ f!ngrpr!ntz

dze z!nglr zrc ov bubl!ng l!ght
!z dze heart u!ch !nvoluntar!l!
takez fotoz ov tearz _+ zleep
l!ke tzo man! heartz
d!g!ng shadouz
uzelesz zekretz
b4 dze apet!te ov b!rdz u!ch zkr!m 4 lf

temporar!l! kondemnd
dze bod! returnz 2 !tz zelf
2 kovr 2m ov n!ght 
l!ke a dead ue!ght
plung!ng !n2 !tz vo!sz
u!ch !z m!ne 
alone