why did the elephant pack a trunk?

[Alan Sondheim]

why did the elephant pack a trunk? because his nose was broken.
past all acceleration the hyperaccelerator brings particles to fruition.
why was the giraffe a foot? because he was looking for food.
why did the pangolin weigh himself? because he carried his own scales.
why did the beetle play guitar? because she was one of the beatles.
why did the swordfish dual? because there were two of them.
why did the bullfrog die? because he croaked.
why did the flamingo have a leg up on the competition? because she
couldn't stand it. why didn't the cricket play baseball? because he
played cricket. why wasn't the horse blind? because she was a sea-horse.
why did the ant attack the grasshopper? so he would cry uncle.

why was the kaon manic-depressive? because she broke the laws of symmetry.
( see accompanying illustration
http://www.asondheim.org/hyperaccelerator.jpg )

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