My Secret

[furtherfield]

BlankSleazy Art Meetings (9)

My Secret

I won't make any excuses for anything that I've done and I don't think I
should have to. In college I have explored as many clever young guys as I
could. It felt like a playful, perverse discourse and a pleasurable protest
against the other unchallenging females. Believing that I can be a carouser
and still maintain an essence of genius as well. The mommy’s girls swatted
on, studying about their potential future careers, researching all those
faulty de-educational blueprints of life. I was exploring instinctive
motions wrapped with an intellect with many variants in respect of aspects
of living thrown in as well. Ok, sometimes I got milk on my face, but it had
calcium and nutrients; at least I was healthy. Unlike those, sun petrified
bimbos worrying about their snotty pimples bursting under the heat, who
thought studying handed down ideas, text and institutional propaganda would
make them somehow wiser. When they were really just trained up commodities,
taught how to bandwagon jump through selected hoops, swallowing handed down
mythologies disguised as real histories.

Nope, I could see through all that crap. Even if though shit does sell very
well in this disposable world, that’s not an excuse to do it; I could have
done a great good job at selling such bile. I do have my self-respect and
have managed to maintain my psychological dignity. At that same time though,
I didn't make any effort to conceal anything I did, which does have its
drawbacks. Many of the college girls began to get jealous due to their
boyfriends discussing new numerous ideas that we had shared together, and
were very frustrated that it was not featured on their curriculum. I was too
idealistic and I found out the hard way that one woman can't make much of a
difference to change the world. The reputation I acquired made life very
difficult for me during the three years that I went to college. I've learned
from my blunders. I don't consider anything I did as big mistakes, the only
real regret I have is not taking steps to be more discrete.

After college I got married and my life changed a lot. I settled into
married life easily and became a faithful wife. My husband is amazing and
has a very flexible imagination and he always satisfies me. The only sort of
experience that I have missed over the four years we've been together is the
excitement and sensations of getting cerebrally challenged by two guys at
the same time. Men who are well endowed with uncommon vigor of mind and
superior intellectual faculties have always turned me on. Threesomes were my
favorite in college and I learnt loads.

I thought that I could put everything behind me until I discovered ‘Net,
Mind and Body.org’ on the Internet and I couldn't resist signing up. I love
my husband and I know I'm not supposed to cheat, but if he never finds out,
how can it harm him?

I've only done it once and I didn't have anyone else to tell, so I figure
it's better if the whole world hears my story (with all names changed of
course). I love it that the net is so anonymous. I didn't just meet up with
a couple of guys right away. It took me a few weeks of going online and
checking out profiles and cogitative faculties and various charts of many
types of males until I mustered up the courage to meet two ‘Net, Mind and
Body.org’ guys in person. ‘Net, Mind and Body.org’ was a site that harbored
many individual members who shared hypothetical conceptualizations online
and with each other personally on a regular basis. Many of the interactive,
virtual experiences I shared with men on the site were very stimulating,
causing my third ventricle to pulse in a way that I have never felt before.
It was amazing.

I can remember sharing the supposition that imposed cultural deconstruction
was potentially a subconscious yell for a collective, orgone revolution via
institutionalized parenting. Which to the layperson means having a
revolution whilst holding onto your parents’ hands at the same time as being
aroused by their adult knowingness yet still questioning their roles and too
scared to actually create real change. And when someone suddenly said that
the most virulent forms of humanism carries with it a normative component
that would in its self, escape any realistic or truthful analysis due to
humanities inner intricacies, and they are impossible to measure by
traditional science alone. My pineal gland exploded into an ignitable, over
stimulated intellectual series of flushes followed by involuntary muscle
contractions. Believe me, it felt good.

Everything went better than I could have hoped for. The two ‘Net, Mind and
Body.org’ guys possessed exceptional clarity and an agility of intellect as
well as invention. They also did everything I asked them to do. They'd never
had a threesome before and I sort of felt like a director in a movie. I wish
I had it all on film now, oh well.

We met in a public park. I picked them up in my car and drove them to my
chosen secret haven, a motel well out of the way. Once we had keys to the
room I parked the car and told the guys to go inside and be fully undressed
and wait for me while I found a suitable parking spot. I was a little
disappointed they didn't do as I asked - they weren't waiting undraped for
me. I then realized that they were too shy about being exposed in front of
each other while I wasn't there. I had to dismantle my own clothing first
and then they let me dishabille them one at a time.
I then siphoned off their metaphorical projectiles of immense, impelling
force while they still had their pants around their ankles. After that I
situated my self horizontally on the bedstead and commanded each of them to
bestow their dianoetic qualities all over me. Maybe it's just that I hadn't
been with two guys for so long, but I had the best mutual biogenesis
stirrings of my life. One of the guys expounded to the other that `we are
currently existing forms of continuity, heightened by the occurrence of
mutual suspense’. The other agreed and then mentioned that my elongated
erectile, tissue was filling with blood and was now quite rigid and it
seemed to be very sensitive to intellectual stimuli. I agreed, while trying
to catch my breath.

My expression offered immediate respect of deference as we enhanced and
harmonized our reciprocal, individual and mutually supportive selves just as
though we were in a just and equal society. I was riding one guy while
masticating his friend's academically well defined and finely sprung
pedestal. Then they switched places, only the second guy eased his
motivation into my geometric postulate as preparation for the main event. As
soon as I was able to take a whole hypothesis up my stratum I got them to
doubly appropriate me and adjust my state of mind and take a solid position
towards their shared dissertation. Firstly, all three of us were lying on
our side and then I received one of the guys’ proposed notions, while the
other entered his synopsis into my unprotected rear guard argumentation. Any
woman that has not felt what's it's like to be intellectually influenced by
a vigorous exertion with such erudite persuasions by two males at once, have
denied themselves an experience so ultimate, that they should be ashamed of
themselves.

The guys paused a few times to administer some kind of discursive and
liberal lubrication onto my prominent and negotiable framework, thus making
it easier to penetrate my deep and well informed, sense of reasoning. Both
guys discharged their collected and accumulated ideologies into my interior
subjective void, almost at the same time. I could feel every interjection
unfolding, getting larger, expanding via the conscious act of understanding,
as they were shooting into every inner space, awakening my proclivity. I had
a shower soon after and left while both guys were asleep on the same bed.

So that's my story and that's how it happened. I hope it strikes a cord for
those who are caught up in the trappings of conventional thought, denying
their own liberation. I haven't done it again with the same guys or anyone
else, but I must admit that I have been tempted. I'll probably hold out for
a few months, maybe even a couple of years. I've even thought about
including my husband, but I don't think that will ever happen. It's not a
big deal really, I like having my own secrets.

http://www.furtherfield.org/mgarrett/mgw/docs/playful_art_text.htm