WTO applauded for insulting Gandhi (and epistolaris at freemail
Anna Balint
epistolaris at freemail.hu
Fri Aug 31 12:16:39 CEST 2001
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August 30, 2001
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
WTO INTRODUCES NEW MEMBER
Gold and one meter long, phallus is brand-new technology to
control distant workers
Anti-WTO impostors have struck again, delivering a lecture
about the rights of slavery, the stupidity of Gandhi, and
the supremacy of free trade to an enthusiastic crowd of
scientists, engineers, and marketing professionals--all of
whom thought they were watching an official WTO
representative.
The 150 experts at the "Textiles of the Future" conference
in Tampere, Finland heard one Hank Hardy Unruh explain that
Gandhi's "self- sufficiency" movement was entirely
misguided, because it centered around protectionism, and
that Lincoln, by outlawing slavery, had criminally
interfered with the trade freedom of the South, as well as
with slavery's own freedom to develop naturally. Had
slavery never been abolished, Unruh said, today's much
cheaper system of sweatshops would have eventually replaced
it anyhow; following this free-market logic to the end,
Unruh declared the Civil War just a big waste of money.
Finally, to applause from the highly educated audience,
Unruh's business suit was ripped off to reveal a golden
leotard with a three-foot-long phallus. The purpose of
the "Management Leisure Suit", he explained, was to allow
managers, no matter where they were, to monitor their
distant, impoverished workforces and to administer shocks
to encourage productivity--assuring that no "Gandhi-type
situation" develop again.
"If a group of Ph.D.s cheers at such crudely crazy things,
just because it's the WTO saying them, what else can the
WTO get away with?" said Andy Bichlbaum of the Yes Men, the
impostors' umbrella group. (The entire PowerPoint lecture
is available at www.theyesmen.org/finland/, along with some
shots captured by a video crew preparing a film on the Yes
Men's activities.)
The Yes Men had a similar experience last October with a
group of international trade lawyers
(www.theyesmen.org/wto/). And in July, a member of the
group, again passing as a representative of the WTO,
appeared on a major television network show about protest's
effect on the market (www.theyesmen.org/tv.html); among
other things, he spoke about how the privatization of
education will naturally eliminate "unproductive" thinkers
from the high-school classroom, a long-term solution to the
problem of protest. (Because the imposture was not noticed
and the Yes Men hope for further appearances, the show's
name is being withheld.)
In other quarterly developments:
A conference session on techniques to counter anti-
corporate activism, normally available for $225 to
corporate clients, is available to activists for free at
rtmark.com/prsa/, thanks to an anonymous donor.
At the G8 protests in Genoa, activists distributed one
thousand vanity mirrors, which were then used to reflect
the sun into the eyes of attacking policemen; this
fulfilled RTMark project MIRR, and those who carried it out
received a $1,000 anonymous investment.
The "Archimedes Project" comes on the heels of the medieval
catapult attack on the FTAA fortress in Quebec City, for
which the workers were awarded $200. For the upcoming IMF
protests in Washington, D.C., on September 29, an RTMark
investor has offered $500 to any Lacrosse team that
harnesses their skills and equipment to throw tear gas
canisters back to the police
(rtmark.com/fundhigh.html#LACR).
A software development kit and book from hactivist.com,
entitled "Child as Audience", allows anyone to reverse-
engineer the Nintendo Gameboy. Because of content that many
will find objectionable, RTMark has lent its corporate veil
to the project, meaning that any legal flak will be
absorbed by the RTMark corporate body rather than by those
responsible.
The same label that enraged Geffen Records
with "Deconstructing Beck" is issuing its fourth RTMark-
sponsored release, "A Mutated Christmas," a paean to
musical sharing illegally assembled from copyrighted
holiday music. Promotional copies will be available in late
September; press and radio requests should be directed to
illegalart at detritus.net.
RTMark's primary goal is to publicize corporate subversion
of the democratic process. To this end it acts as a
clearinghouse for anti-corporate projects. A list of just-
added projects is maintained at rtmark.com/new.html.
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